The Mom Test by Rob Fitzpatrick -
November 1, 2019.
Stop Seeking Approval
As we’ve seen, compliments are dangerous and sneaky. So if we can nip them in the bud before they bloom, so much the better. The main source of compliment-creation is seeking approval, either intentionally or inadvertently.
Doing it intentionally is fishing for compliments. You aren’t looking for contradictory information. You’ve already made up your mind, but need someone’s blessing take the leap.
Symptoms of Fishing For Compliments:
- “I’m thinking of starting a business... so, do you think it will work?”
- “I had an awesome idea for an app — do you like it?”
Accidental approval-seeking is what I call “The Pathos Problem.” It happens when you expose your ego, leading people to feel they ought to protect you by saying nice things.
This comes up when you tell someone about an idea you obviously care about (which is pretty much always, since otherwise you wouldn’t be asking). Even if you give folks permission to be honest and ask for criticism, they’re still going to pull their punches.
Written by Bookcademy.
Complete the sentence: “When we are seeking approval, we are intentionally…”
Fishing for commitments
Fishing for compliments
Fishing for advancement
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